The emotional and legal realities of becoming a surrogate: Stephanie Bosello's story
Ep. 95 on the All Figured Out Podcast
Becoming a surrogate isn’t something most of us plan for—and yet, when the opportunity arose for Stephanie Bosello, a mom of two and clinical counsellor, it felt both like a "no-brainer" and a massive decision. In this vulnerable and insightful episode of All Figured Out, Stephanie walks us through the emotional, logistical, and legal dimensions of saying yes to surrogacy.
Spoiler: it didn’t go as planned. But the lessons, the impact, and the connections? Still deeply felt.
From playful courtyard chats to serious conversations
Stephanie and Andrea are neighbours, moms, and friends. What began as casual conversations while their kids rode bikes turned into something more intimate: a deep-dive into Stephanie’s life-changing choice to become a surrogate for a family member.
With a background in developmental and counselling psychology and over a decade in school-based counselling, Stephanie is no stranger to big emotions and complex family systems. But this journey? It required every ounce of support, trust, and open-hearted communication.
Visualizing the journey before it began
Before talking to her husband Brent, before even speaking the decision aloud, Stephanie spent months visualizing the experience. What would it feel like to carry a baby that wasn't hers? To hand that child—a deeply wanted, long-waited-for baby—over to their parents?
As Stephanie says in the episode, the images in her mind were so beautiful and powerful, she couldn’t not try.
A "big brainer" decision
Yes, surrogacy is a gift. But it's also a legal, physical, financial, and emotional journey. From counseling sessions for both families, to legal agreements that covered everything from sick days to short-term disability, this wasn't something to enter lightly.
And yet? Stephanie and her husband felt aligned. They were all in. Even their union had to do some digging—her district had never fielded a surrogacy maternity leave request before.
The heartbreak that followed
Despite every preparation, every hormone shot, and every ounce of hope, the embryo transfer did not result in a pregnancy.
Stephanie returned to work that day. She cried in her office with a practicum student-turned-confidant, feeling the weight of nine months of planning come to an unexpected halt.
But even in that grief, Stephanie describes feeling a deep connection to the embryo she carried, however briefly. "It’s always going to be part of the fabric of our family," she says.
Why this episode matters
For anyone curious about surrogacy, navigating fertility challenges, or simply wondering how to support a friend going through something similar, this episode offers real talk, grounded wisdom, and gentle encouragement.
As Stephanie says, "Even if it doesn’t end the way you hope, it is such a privilege to be part of someone’s story."
About Stephanie Bosello
Stephanie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and school counsellor with a background in developmental and counselling psychology. She's passionate about supporting youth and families, navigating school and health systems, and helping others feel seen and supported. She's also a proud mom of two high-energy kids who tear around the neighbourhood on bikes.
About Andrea Barr, host of All Figured Out
Andrea is a certified career and life coach for parents. Through her coaching, she supports parents in finding better work-life rhythms so they can continue to grow personally and professionally without sacrificing family time.
Connect with Andrea via Instagram here.
