154. Why "how was your day?" is the wrong question to ask after school
Sandy Ewert spent a decade in the classroom before she became a school counsellor and, eventually, a private-practice family and child therapist.
She's coached hundreds of kids through the exact thing every family is living through right now — and this September, for the first time, she's doing it as a parent herself, with a son about to start kindergarten and a six-month-old at home.
In this episode, we get into what actually helps a kid get through a hard transition, what a school counsellor really does all day, and the honest answer to whether "knowing too much" makes the back-to-school season any easier.
In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Intro
(01:52) Sandy's path: a decade as a teacher, now a school counsellor and private-practice family therapist
(03:37) Coming at back-to-school as a parent, not just a professional, for the first time
(08:10) What a school counsellor actually does (and why the job is "on fire on roller skates")
(12:35) When "good enough" isn't good enough — advocating for kids who look fine on paper
(16:14) "Tell me more": a phrase that actually gets a kid talking
(25:44) Building a family toolkit that's dependent on your specific kid
(27:02) The "yellow zone" — catching dysregulation before the meltdown
(27:40) The "dress rehearsal": practicing for the first day, and why preparation is the antidote to anxiety
(35:14) After-school reconnection, and why "how was your day?" is the wrong opener
(37:29) The blood sugar rule every parent needs before pickup
(38:29) Movement and reading what a kid actually needs
(47:48) Letting kids struggle enough to feel capable, without over-parenting
(54:56) The signs it's time to bring in a family counsellor
(01:04:53) What is Sandy trying to figure out
KEY TAKEAWAY
Preparation is the antidote to anxiety — rehearse the hard transition before it happens instead of hoping you survive it. When the big feelings show up anyway, meet them with connection, not another question.
About Sandy Ewert
Sandy has spent nearly two decades supporting children and families first as a teacher and now as a counsellor both in private practice and within the school system. During her time in education, she has spent time in a variety of roles including specialized behaviour support program teacher, special education teacher and currently school counsellor. Sandy is most passionate and ignited by walking along side children in finding their voice and living life as their most authentic and best lives. She describes her work in private practice as a “Children’s life coach.” Sandy believes that her purpose is to be a conduit between adults and children, helping adults to better understand each individual child for who they truly are without the desire to change them.
💌 email Sandy: sandy.dhami@gmail.com
